Driver's Ed Scare Films Vol 01

All the best Driver's Ed classes were equipped with really sick "educational" films that seemed to terrorize more than teach. Here are five of them!

By far the most gruesome, Mechanized Death is chock full of ghastly real-life scenes of accident aftermath. You'll see a woman trapped under steering wheels gasping for dear life, as well as the requisite weeping trooper scene, all backed with droning narration reminiscent of cough-medicine commercials.

Following is the lighthearted Just in Case: Suppression of School Bus Fires. in which various no-good rugrats set fires in the wagons carting them home from class. Luckily, the bus drivers are quick thinkers and adept at using extinguishers. When a couple of nogoodniks throw a match into the trash can on board as a prank, the other unamused, fashion-impaired passengers prepare to beat the shit out of them!

In the 60 Minutes-esque short Boobytrap!, an incredibly nerdy host warns of the dangers of highway obstacles like road signs and guard rails. To illustrate his point, we're shown some priceless footage of crash tests and VW Bugs skidding along and flipping over on rain-slicked streets. There's even a morbid "greatest hits" reel at the end, complete with a charred farmer!

But the best is Fatal Stop! The Story of a Pre-Trip Inspection. A crotchety old bus driver named Charlie (with a huge belly and crooked teeth) is called in on his day off to commandeer the football team to a game. In a true stretch, he knows all the players by name, is buddy-buddy with the coach, and even has an unnatural fixation with cheerleader Connie. But because he is in too much of a hurry to arrive at their destination, the result is an overturned bus, a twisted rig, and a whole mess of bloody jocks and pom-pom girls!

So strap on those seat belts and wallow in two solid hours of bone-crushing, gut churning, bloody highway gore! And remember, please drive safely.
From 16mm pedal-to-the-metal prints
--Rod Lott, Hitch magazine